"It's good to be king. Wait, maybe. I think maybe I'm just like a little bizarre little person who walks back and forth. Whatever, you know."

- Terry Davis

Some people insist that any recipe containing beans ought not be called a chili. Those people are free to prepare a different recipe, or to prepare this recipe and call it something else.

What You Will Put In The Pot

• Two pounds of ground beefAll measurements in this recipe are inexact
• 42 oz of dark red kidney beans
• 28 oz can of crushed or diced tomato
• Four strips of bacon, choppedPancetta will do, for the pretentious
• Two large white onions, chopped
• One poblano pepper, chopped
• One green bell pepper, chopped
• Two jalapeno peppers, chopped
• One habanero pepper, chopped
• Ground black pepper
• Salt
• Chili powder, 3-6 T
• Cumin, 1-2 T

How You Will Put It In The Pot

1. Chop the bacon and sizzle it in a dutch oven over medium flame.
2. Chop the onions and add them to the bacon with a few pinches of salt. Saute the onions in the bacon fat for a few minutes.
3. Add the ground beef and the jalapeno and a few more pinches of salt. Cook the beef until browned.
4. Add the chili powder, enough to saturate the beef. If you need to measure, start with three tablespoons.
5. Add the tomato, use the tomato juices to deglaze.
6. Add all other ingredients and simmer for one hour with top on, stirring occasionally.
7. Simmer for another half hour with top off.
8. Eat.