“Gentlemen, welcome to the world of reality—there is no audience. No one to applaud, to admire. No one to see you. Do you understand? Here is the truth—actual heroism receives no ovation, entertains no one. No one queues up to see it. No one is interested.”

-David Foster Wallace

Gather Them

• About a pound of mushrooms, chopped. Mushrooms that you like. Perhaps creminis, perhaps shiitakes, perhaps buttons, perhaps a mixture thereof.
• A shallot or small onion, finely chopped.
• Cooking fat of your choice. Butter and olive oil both work well.
• Salt and black pepper.
• One heavy pinch of parsley.
• A white wine that you'd drink.
• A half-pound of linguine.
• Cream, heavy or sour. Optional.
• Parmesan cheese. Optional.

Light The Cooking Fires

1. Heat two or three tablespoons of cooking fat in a skillet over a medium-high flame.
2. Simultaneously, bring water to a boil and cook the pasta. If not using cream, reserve pasta water when finished.
3. Add the chopped mushrooms, salt, and pepper, and turn to coat with the cooking fat. Sauté for about five minutes until liquid has rendered out from mushrooms.
4. Add the onion or shallot and continue to sauté until liquid has evaporated, then sauté for about five minutes more.
5. Add white wine, about a quarter of a normal-sized bottle if you're cooking with cream, or a third of a bottle and a cup of pasta water if you're not. Cook down the wine to thicken, about ten minutes, over medium-low flame.
6. Add parsley and a half cup of cream, if you're using it, stirring for about two minutes in either case.
7. Remove from heat and serve mushroom sauce over pasta, optionally with parmesan.